Though love can feel like a rush of emotion and as if it is happening very quickly, your mind and body actually goes through stages when it comes to falling in love. There is great controversy over what these stages are and how they progress, with no true resolution. However, the following defines the basic stages that you can expect to feel when going from acquaintances to true love.
Use this as your guide toward understanding the emotions you and your partner or feeling or the conflicts that you face. Knowing that you are not alone or that what you are going through is normal may be all you need to know in order to push onto the next phase of love.
The Beginnings
In the beginning, relationships that may evolve into love are rooted in a sense of romanticism and the feelings that imbue us with a sense of hope and awe. It is the time in the relationship when two people tend to focus on an idealistic version of another. That is, the differences seem small and the commonalities between seem minute. Passion seems to be everywhere and conflict at a minimum.
There is a scientific basis for this reaction and causation of the butterflies-in-your stomach, rather than a simple emotional response. The body in this stage of falling in love actually produces extra chemicals which cause a heightened feeling of pleasure. It has been deemed intoxicating and allows for the release of endorphins that fill our bodies with the euphoric feeling that makes us giddy. The problem with this phase is that it only has a short shelf-life. Euphoria may not last in this state for very long.
The overlooking of differences and the chemical response will only be present in the body for a few months and then the next phase has to be conquered. Remembering these days and these moments of initial pleasure, though, may help through the more difficult stages of a relationship.
Battling
Battling is a part of life and it is a part of love. In the next stage, the glossy finish that is placed on the picture of love in the first phases is dissipating. There is recognition of the differences between individuals and the similarities can get lost among the now more apparent conflicts in points of view and characteristics. The reason for this seeming descent is the fact that our minds are returning to their original states.
No more are the chemicals infusing our minds and our lives but brain chemistry is returning to normal. The result is a potential for arguments and disagreements. It is not impossible for this battling to be overcome. Rather, a couple that is willing to stick it out can overcome these differences and conflicts. It is actually a great chance to hone problem solving skills and the ability to really listen to others point of view. Though it may take work and not all couples will survive this jockeying phase, those who do will be ready to enter the next phase of love.
Refocusing
The next stage in the process of falling in to true and lasting love is a period of refocusing. In this phase, individuals will re-evaluate their relationship as well as the position they hold in it. There can be a feeling a fear and introspection. There can be a feeling of isolation that can take over with each partner leading what seem more like dual lives than a symbiotic relationship. Again, at this stage, there is the risk that the relationship may be over, however, it can also be a chance for personal growth that will help in the next phase of the relationship or following in everlasting love.
Reconnection
The next phase comes as a time of rebirth or reconnection. Individuals, who may have drifted apart, come together through hard work and a level of self-awareness developed in the previous phase. There is recognition that the relationship will take work, and a desire to achieve this work. Partners will come together as a team and really communicate about their feelings. There is a clearer delineation of boundaries and yet a common recognition that communal actions need to take place as well.
Partners will work on themselves, recognizing that they have issues to correct rather than displacing those feelings on their partners. This process can be difficult but it is no less rewarding to those who are willing to stick it out and make it work with one another. Differences in each other are not seen as a hindrance but a starting point upon which to build and grow.
Balance Reached
In the end phase of love or when harmony has been reached, partners will come to a balance in the relationship. There is a recognition of each individual?s autonomy and yet the support they require from their partner. They rely on each other with the recognition of their own paths.
Disagreements do still arise as will occur in any level and phase of a relationship, but these different conflicts can be easily overcome because of the skills the partners have gained in the other phases of the relationship. Teamwork is the essential to navigating through this phase and individuals can officially say that they are in true love. Only a minute amount of couples make it to this phase, less than ten percent, but those who do can reap everlasting rewards in love.
Review
Again, the above information is not a set guide to the stages of love but an overview. There is no doubt that love does not happen without work and these phases demonstrate that. Individuals in a couple must be willing to take the time to learn and grow with each other. They must have the fortitude to move beyond the difficulties in order to find a realistic and true love. Those who do have said that it is all worth it in the end but it does take effort on everyone?s part involved in the relationship.
Love relationships are necessary to make life worth living, and every participant must be ready to make changes for the benefit of the other partner. As a man, you should be ready to do this while your partner is always doing the same. Most ladies are shy, and it is the duty of the man to take her out for a drive to have a good time together. Do things together with her, being her companion instead of a ?dictator?. Doing that strengthens the bond between you and your lady. You could also go for a vacation with her after every few months. This makes her not to be bored, and is also necessary to spend time together, planning your future.
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