nalani codling: Myths about Bisexual men ? Maisha

Maisha ? August 3, 2012 ? Leave a Comment

What is Bisexuality?

Although there is a definition of bisexuality (as a sexual orientation) given in the dictionary, the use of the word bisexual as a label and identity varies from group to group and from bisexual individual to bisexual individual. Since no one definition can fully cover all the different types of bisexuals that exist in this world, here are a few of the more popular definitions currently in use:

1. Someone who is capable of feeling romantic, spiritual, and/or sexual attraction for two genders*.

2. A person who loves despite gender.

3. One who loves individuals first and genders second.

4. An individual open to sexual or emotional exploration with two genders.*note that two genders is specified here being as many people are aware that there are more that two genders in this world (gender refers to a person?s psychology, not to their physical sex).

The nature of bisexuality is easily misunderstood by both gays and straight people. The thought of a person that is attracted to both men and women can be confusing, especially within cultural models that classify sexuality as either one or the other. The middle voids the entire concept of sexuality as being fluid,instead of learned or defined. Plus,some use their misunderstanding of the concept of bisexuality to label themselves bi, when in fact they are in the process of accepting another form of sexuality.These things can lead to misconceptions about the validity of bisexuality and, in turn, the devaluation of bisexual people. Below are myths commonly associated with bisexual men and women.

Myth No.1:There is no such thing as Bisexual. You?re either gay/lesbian or straight, no in between.The world is not black and white. Although it is sometimes hard for people to see the shades of gray that they do not understand. It is this attitude that all things fall into extremes that keeps many people from learning about and adopting the label, Bisexual.Despite this there are many people who identify as bisexual in this world. This is the label that they feel best describes their attractions, be they physical or emotional, towards different genders. Often times one may remain unaware of a friend or relative?s bisexuality because of this tendency (by either party) to classify everything as either gay or straight.

Myth No 2: Bisexuality Is Only A Phase.Many bisexual people feel limited by the thought of being attracted to only a man or a woman.Their attractions, both physical and emotional, to the individual take precedence over the need to partner with just men or women.Discovering one?s bisexuality happens by the same process as coming out in any other form of sexuality. Bisexual experiences may happen for people that are discovering their sexuality, even though they are not bisexual. So,it is common to view the experiences of actual bisexual people as just a phase.

Myth No 3: Bisexual People Are Just Confused.Bisexual people embody the true nature of fluid sexuality. This is not to say that they ?sway? back and forth,? but that there are varying degrees of bisexuality.Some bisexual people ?lean straight,? as it?s called, meaning they prefer a member of the opposite sex, but same-sex partners are an option. Others?lean gay,? or the exact opposite.Their preferences are no more a choice than those of straight, gay or asexual people. Most self-identified bisexuals have made their choice. What is meant by choice here is in choosing that label and NOT in choosing their sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is believed by many doctors (including psychiatrists) to be determined biologically and is not a conscious choice. Whatever other choices may be made, such as to the monogamy of relationships, is made on an individual basis and has little, if anything, to do with the label one adopts.

Myth No 4: Bisexuals Are Promiscuous.Twice the options, twice the fun, some may think?a thought which often places bisexuality as a synonym to promiscuity. However, the process to find a partner for dating, sex, or a relationship is the same for bisexual individuals as it is for others. The number of viable partners does not make one any more or less promiscuous. Each individual, bisexual or not, conducts their dating life based on their person standard, whatever they may be.

Myth No 5:Everybody is bisexual.Although most people experience an attraction for someone of the same gender at some point in their lives, this does not mean that everyone is bisexual. For most people these feelings pass or change over time without the person ever questioning or redefining their sexual orientations.

Myth No 6:You cannnot be bisexual and be faithful to one person.A person?s decision to be monogamous with a partner is an individual choice influenced by many things involved in a relationship and in that person?s own personality. Some bisexuals have open relationships and have relations with different people of different genders on different levels. Other bisexuals are in long term monogamous relationships, including faithful marriages. It is not unlike being straight or gay or lesbian and in a closed relationship. Different people simply make different choices as to how to go about relationships. This is not determined by the person?s sexual orientation but rather by themselves and, in some cases, their partners.

Many bisexuals feel that they can be perfectly content with one person and don?t have an overwhelming urge to carry on relations with two genders at once. This is analogous to being a part of a monogamous gay/lesbian or straight couple and choosing whether or not ?cheat? on that partner. Or, in cases where both partners are involved in the decision of who is involved in there sexual lives, it is no different than being a straight ?swinging couple involved with other swinging couples (or individuals). Once again these are individual choices and are not a direct consequence of a person?s sexual orientation.

Myth No 7:Bisexuals are much more likely to carry sexually transmitted diseases/infections.It?s not who or what a person is that makes them more likely to carry diseases and infections. It is what a person DOES, the sexual practices of a person, in particular how well a person protects him/herself during sexual activities. The more educated one becomes about STD?s the better protected one can be from infection.According to a CNN Health alert though a few weks ago, bisexual black men are?at high risk for HIV.Only one in 500 Americans is a black gay or bisexual male, but black men who have sex with men (MSM) account for one in four new HIV infections in the United States, according to a new report by the Black AIDS Institute (BAI).Just days away from the first International AIDS Conference to be held on U.S. soil in 22 years, the BAI, a national think tank focused on African-Americans, released a somber account detailing how the virus continues to disproportionately infect and kill young black men who have sex with other menFor more on that click here.

Myth No8:Bisexuals are more accepted by straight society.This myth has all been expressed by some as ?Bisexuals are more accepted by? gay/lesbian society.? The truth is that although bisexual activists fight for many of the same rights as gay and lesbian people do, they are not always made to feel welcome as a part of the community/movement. The heterosexual community often groups bisexuals as being ?confused or undercover homosexuals? and so rejects bisexuals and the concept of bisexuality. For the opposite reason some lesbian and gay people reject bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation and see the stigma and not the people. The fact is that many bisexual people feel as if they are somewhere in between the two worlds and feel both positive and negative feelings from both. This is not to say that lesbian, gay and bisexual people do not work together in the equal rights movement and accomplish great things.

Did you know that Malcolm X was bisexual!Check it out here.

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